The Blood and Malice of Derp 1 is a massive, efficient nation, renowned for its spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-working, cynical population of 4.925 billion Derp 1ians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Healthcare. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 10.4%.

The very strong Derp 1ian economy, worth 285 trillion rubledollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Furniture Restoration, Woodchip Exports, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is 57,994 rubledollars, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 287,395 per year while the poor average 6,636, a ratio of 43.3 to 1.

Crime is a problem, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. Derp 1's national animal is the hawk, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities.

Derp 1 is ranked 140,588^th in the world and 4,188^th in Suspicious for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 101.5 on the Clooney Contribution Index.